Thor

So you're probably thinking, "Out of all of the movies Courtney could pick to write her first blog about she chooses THOR?!"


Ok, Ok, I know Thor really isn't a "Courtney" movie but that's what makes it so bloggable! And it's not like I wanted to watch it. I never had a choice. See, when you love someone and they're in a movie that's on Netflix, you watch it right? It doesn't matter what it is.  You have to be supportive. And let me also note that this is all Heather's fault. Heather just haaaaad to go and tell me about a young man by the name of Tom Hiddleston. Like I didn't already have enough problems knowing that another young man, a certain life ruining chap who answers to the name Benedict Cumberbatch exists. So if you want to post blame on anyone, blame those who are really responsible for me having to watch Thor.


Now that that's out of the way, let's move on. Going in to this movie I was already in the mindset that I was going to hate it (minus the lovely bits with my dear dear Tom in them, of course). After the first 15 minutes or so I already wanted to punch Thor in his stupid face. He was such a pompous, arrogant douche bag that it was all I could do not to fast forward every scene with him in it. If I had though, I probably only would've had 10 minutes of movie to watch. Just everything about him annoyed the bejesus out of me. His hair, his clothes, his voice...When his old man took his powers and his giant hammer away I was like, "Nyah Nyah! Jerk! Serves you right!" If I was Loki, I would've tattled on his ass too.


So then he gets banished to Earth or whatever and Natalie Portman runs him over with her Winabago. I don't know about you, but those two did NOT go together at all. Thor was like, HUGE and Natalie Portman is a tiny little pixie, I mean c'mon! He'd crush her! So at first I was like, "She'd never like him. He's too much of a meathead!" But I don't know what happened, when I saw him in normal clothes and he started acting like a semi-normal person and he was explaining the star chart thing to her, my attitude towards him changed. It turned more into a, "Haaaaay, guuuurrrl!" Which was weird because Chris Hemsworth is SO not my type at all. After that every scene they had together I found myself yelling at the tv, "Just make out already!!"


When little Loki became king I was like, "Awww...look at you with your little horns!" <3 I don't know why, but I often find myself being on the bad dude's side in movies. Bad dudes are usually more interesting. And Loki seemed so misunderstood and troubled. I'm a sucker for that. I always fall for the troubled dudes. I guess I think I can fix them because I see myself like a modern day Snow White. I'll just sing at them and then they'll be happy or something. I dont' know. And besides, you feel bad for Loki. The guy's been lied to his whole life. I know the king meant well by taking him in but kids are smart and they can tell when you treat them differently. 


The scene where they're fighting on Rainbow Road I couldn't help but giggle. I kept thinking, "Just throw a turtle shell at him! Jeeeez!" I wonder if any other Mario Kart nerds giggled at the Rainbow Road scene...


Anyway, so Loki lets go of Thor's hand at the end and it was sad and stuff. I know he doesn't die since he's in the Avenger's movie but I was still like, "Hang in there, baby." Poor Loki. I have yet to see "The Avengers" but I can already tell you that it'll be harder for me to get through than "Thor". "Thor" really didn't have as much action as I expected it to. Action movies just don't do anything for me. My brain just goes on cruise control whenever anything "actioney" starts happening. But at least I got through it. Now I can feel less crazy for being obsessed with an actor whose movies I've never seen.


Since giving "stars" out is too mainstream, I'm going to be using a pug scale. Out of a scale of one to five pugs, I'd give "Thor" two pugs (I would've said two and a half pugs but a half of a pug would be gross).