But what about the Hobbit? After the success of the Lord of the Rings naturally a film adaption of the Hobbit would quickly follow, right?
WRONG.
For years I kept hearing rumors of how the production of the Hobbit movie was being pushed back again and again. There was always some kind of problem and I worried that this movie would never get made. But then one glorious day news broke that Peter Jackson had finally come to an agreement with New Line and Warner Bros. and that production on the Hobbit was going to commence. With bated breath I waited to hear who would be chosen to play my hero, Bilbo. When Martin Freeman was chosen I was relieved. I had adored him in "The Office" and also in "Love Actually". I then had to know who was going to play Smaug (one of my all-time favorite fictional characters). When I read the name Benedict Cumberbatch I was confused. I had never heard of him. I quickly got on IMDB to find out who this mystery man was. That's when my life was changed forever. I saw that both he and Martin had been in a modern version of Sherlock Holmes on the BBC and no way! It was on Netflix! Most of you know the rest of this story, how I fell hopelessly in love with Mr. Cumberbatch and am now doomed to live my life as a spinster but I digress... Back to the Hobbit!
For nearly two years I was overcome with excitement at the mere thought of seeing this movie. It was bound to be one of the highlights of my life. My dream of finally seeing this story on the big screen was finally coming to fruition! Suffice to say, my expectations were extremely high and I had put my full faith in the hands of Peter Jackson. There was no way this film could be anything short of a masterpiece, I was sure of it.
Less than one week ago, the day had finally come. I was fully equipped with my ticket to the midnight premiere as well as my lovely Hobbit t-shirt that me and my girlfriends had all purchased in celebration of this momentous occasion. When the movie started I was a bit emotional and overwhelmed with happiness. There was my darling Ian Holm reprising his role as an older version of dear Bilbo and I was back in the Shire and everything was good. The first half of the film was Heaven, I will give P.J. that. I thoroughly enjoyed the back story of Thorin and how Smaug had overtaken his grandfather's kingdom. I reveled at seeing Frodo and Gandalf again and meeting all of the dwarves was a delight. But then...things got weird. And things slowly began to change from how they had happened in the book. Characters started to crop up who were only briefly noted in the original text (or not at all). I will say now that I am somewhat of a book purist and since this book was so well known and beloved by the world, I hadn't expected it to divert too much from the original story. When Balin went further into Thorin's back story and the character Azog was introduced my brow quickly furrowed. Who the hell was Azog and what the hell was he doing in MY story?! And furthermore, why does he look so retarded? I was dumbfounded that the WETA workshop had done such a crappy job with this character's design. He looked like he walked straight out of a video game, not a Peter Jackson film. At any rate, the addition of this character seemed superfluous and in my humble opinion did not add to the story. The Hobbit already had enough suspense, action, and drama without the addition of another villain.
But wait! There's another extraneous character to add to the the fray, Radagast the Brown. Radagast annoyed the bejesus out of me. I know that wizards can be a little "eccentric" but this guy looked and acted like a cartoon character. I found myself rolling my eyes during every scene he was in. I know that he was added to the story as a way to build up to Gandalf's side quest that will take part in the next film but I think they gave him too much screen time. And honestly, I think the whole deal with the Necromancer and seeing where Gandalf went when he parted with the company is unnecessary. Peter Jackson just wanted to have more Gandalf scenes. If Tolkien had wanted us to know where Gandalf went at this time, he would've put it in the story. It just makes me angry when directors make changes to stories that were already perfect the way they were written and it especially makes me angry when the author is dead and has no say in what goes into the film adaption and what doesn't.
Anyway, let's move on to more problems I had with the film! A MAJOR difficulty I had with the movie was how melodramatic it was. They added so many wanton suspense scenes that the film dragged on and on (and on). Not in my wildest dreams would I ever have thought that I would have wanted this film to be over. The whole film felt like the extended director's cut. There was absolutely no reason for a book that was only 317 pages long to be stretched into nearly 9 hours of film. NO REASON. UNACCEPTABLE. When I heard that the film was being split into two halves I was a bit troubled. When I heard it was to be a trilogy I was beside myself. I honestly didn't believe it when my mom first told me. I refused to believe that Peter Jackson would have such poor judgement; it was nothing more than a silly rumor. I was wrong.
The scene that solidified my displeasure with the film was the scene with the Goblin King. My friend described it as "a crappy version of Moria". I agree with this comparison. And again, all of the goblins looked so fucking DUMB! Tolkien even states in the book that goblin is just another word for orc, so why did these goblins look completely different from the orcs in the Lord of the Rings films? And why did the Goblin King have to look so grotesque? His design made me want to barf. Me thinks that Guillermo del Toro had some say in the design of the goblin king. On top of that, Gandalf doesn't even behead him like he does in the book. What the hell, man?
I will say that the "Riddles in the Dark" scene was fantastic and Andy Serkis was magic but the things I disliked about the film overshadow the things that I did enjoy. However, I would like to end this review on a positive note. The performance that stood out the most for me in the film was Richard Armitage's portrayal of Thorin Oakenshield. He was bloody brilliant and I am now completely and irrevocably in love with him. If I do see the movie again, it'll only be for him. And I know what you're thinking, you only think that I favor his performance because of his sheer babeliness but that is not the case. It is because of his outstanding performance that I became aware of how unbelievably babely he is. Kili initially caught my eye but it was Thorin who eventually won me over. Too bad I already know Thorin's fate since I've read the book a billion times :(
In conclusion, I still believe this film is worth seeing even though I personally feel it could've been better (and shorter) and despite its flaws, it is still a thousand times better than any of the movies that philistines frequent. Hopefully the next two films will be better. I'll try to lower my expectations by then.
So I suppose you're wondering how many pugs I gave the movie, well, your wait is over! I deem "The Hobbit: an Unexpected Journey" three pugs. No more. No less.
